I don’t know why people are so quick to assume that online dating involves Einstein technical knowledge. It just seems so weird that people quickly assume that if a person finds Mr/Mrs Right online, it just means that both parties are real geeks. If the assumption of these people is true, it practically means that millions of people all over the world become geeks everyday. That’s a real laugh.

Please don’t rush into online dating if the people around you are pressuring you to find love quickly. You might not be suitable for the procedures of online dating. “What! How can someone be not suitable for online dating?” Unfortunately, there are a few groups of people whom I seriously discourage against online dating.

Such groups of people include:

1. People with severe trauma and need more time to recover (About devastating relationships)
2. People who have psychological problems.

Alright. You don’t belong to these groups of people. That’s great. Now, may I implore you to have reasonable expectations in finding the correct partner? I know many people assume that they be united with their respective Prince Charming and Princess the moment they start to indulge in the online dating process. This is, however, a very rare occurrence. It does happen though, it might be you!

While it is nice to assume the Stephen Bishop classic, I hope you can lower your expectations right from the start. As the level of your expectations raises, your disappointment increases.

Online dating is not a process which is automated. It is a process for people to slowly discover one another before they take their relationships further. I would classify online dating as an investment. Giving it a thorough try is equivalent to spending more time, effort and money into finding the ideal life partner. If you are someone who fail miserably in physical dating, online dating may be the way to go.

Basically, there are scams out there. And I won’t lie to you. There are all sorts of people that exist online. When you start dating you will come across them sooner or later, but there are definitely ways to distinguish these people and to avoid them early. There are pros and cons to any online dating service or facility, use them to your advantage instead to your disadvantage by having more knowledge about the online dating system. Honestly, I would want to say that online dating is a double-edged sword. Use those weaknesses in the system to help you.

I am going to teach you the weaknesses that exist in the online dating systems and how you avoid these freaks of nature or fraudsters. But, I will come to that in due course.

There are many sticky situations when people turn offensive and rude because they cannot get anything out of the relationship. This is something that is entertaining to some people and surreal to others. But, insulting someone’s looks or making racist remarks about someone is definitely not tolerated. Everyone deserves chances to find love. Bigoted comments aren’t going to help either. People who act this way find themselves being thrown out of the online dating pool for a very, long time – and for a very good reason.

Dating online doesn’t mean that you are desperate. In fact, if you are choosing to date online with a “desperado” mentality, I would seriously advise against it. Why? This is simply because you might accept everything and regret your actions after that. You end up in a situation where everyone is hurt. Try online dating after you have abandoned the “desperado” mentality, you will be able to find true love better.

In my humble opinion, there isn’t anything wrong when someone goes online to find love. Online dating just improves the chances of searching for someone who is best suited for the searcher. Online dating has some sort, turned into a global revolution. If you do participate in such a global revolution, it is a personal one for you.

Many people are still skeptical about online dating and it is pretty hard to change the general perception. Yes, I understand that it is hard to change the general perception. But, online dating certainly has changed the lives of many, especially lonely people.

The World Wide Web has solved many dating problems, such as loss of opportunities to meet new people and to help shy people find their other halves.

Why people do have the negative impression of the World Wide Web? Mainly it is because of people fear being cheated of both their money and their feelings. We do remember that some people do get hurt in the online dating process but most people who participate in online dating do find their true love.

Online dating may not seem ideal for most people as they are afraid to interact with strangers. However, online dating can broaden your social circle, which increases your potential of finding the Mr/Mrs Right.

Online dating can be an amazingly useful tool for anyone. Its viability ranges from anyone, from a sixteen year- old girl to an eighty year-old granny. Online dating is explosive dynamite in the correct hands. It is useless even if the person subscribes to the most expensive dating service but he doesn’t know what to take heed of in maximizing his dating profile.

When subscribers use the facilities of online dating, they need to learn the limitation so they can work around them. As the saying goes, “ The bad workman always blame his tools.” Don’t blame the online dating system if the dating process doesn’t go well. You need to familiarize yourself with the available facilities online that will assist you in getting the babe/hunk you want!

Being a platinum Ezine (www.ezinearticles.com) expert author in dating, I am fortunate to say that I have been granted additional breaks to share my various online dating experience, I have been in the online dating industry for more than eight years, which gave me the advantage to see the gradual changes in the online dating system.

During this time, I have met many people who were unintentionally hurt and have helped resolve their romance issues, whether it is online or through physical dating. Besides, I have observed many mistakes which could be avoided with some basic knowledge of online dating.

Thus,please make use of the information in this website to the fullest. However, there are some books which I think will definitely be useful. I seriously recommend that you purchase the recommended books, since you take dating seriously. It will definitely be helpful to you in some manner or another. More dating knowledge is more power for YOU.

Viability About Online Dating

There are certain some people out there who just discriminate against such online dating websites, the truth is that it does help even though it takes much effort. But, everything you do requires effort, doesn’t it? There are some people out there who are screaming out loud for being so fortunate to have online dating.

Lets take a look at who these people are:

1. Single parent (Divorced or widowed)
2. Busy professionals,
3. People who are bed-ridden or disabled.
4. People with small social circles
5. People who tend to be more comfortable behind the screens (Usually called Netizens)
6. People who want to know more about their potential dates before they really meet them in person.
7. People who hate to socialize at common social situations to know more people
8. People who want to cheat on their spouses.

Infidelity. Many people are victims of this evil. Chances are, if you are a victim, you would most probably be caught on the emotional roller coaster of your life. Usually, most people who are caught in such tragedies feel that it is the worst period in their lives.

For some unfortunate people who undergo the trauma of divorcing due to infidelity several times (from several partners), they are said to be nearly driven insane. These unfortunate people undergo all different kinds of emotions such as jealousy, anger, loneliness, shame. What’s the worst? Heartache.

You are not alone.

A betrayed spouse might ask himself/herself, How can that jerk do this to me? – slept with my best friend and lied to me all this while… I can never trust anyone again. Especially, I will build my barrier against the people who want a romantic relationship with me. Ever and ever.

Is marital reconciliation possible? I am in the dating arena for several year and I have seen betrayed spouse willing to forgive their partners who betrayed them. So, I guess, yes, it’s possible.

But the problems come.

How can we ever recover from such terrible wounds? If we recover, can we ever not bring up the issue of betrayal ever again? Will the relationship be a healthy one? Can we ever trust each other ever again? Will we ever love each other again?

Yes, yes. I know that there are many questions to answer in a situation like this. But, this is where I can give you some useful advice. And this advice applies in dating to both the male and female.

The Dangerous Illusion: Where Couple Think It Could Never Ever Happen To Them!

In actual fact, we do know people who are victims of infidelity at some point in our lives. So, we can’t really distinguish who is right and wrong. This is unless, we find out for ourselves.

No! I am not asking you to have an affair!

What I meant was that, infidelity brings about new perspectives to the person who committed the betrayal. But, instead of facing reality, the people who are betrayed always tell themselves, “My spouse will never be unfaithful to me – I had my utmost trust in my spouse.” Is that true? Are we really supposed to think that the other party will have no potential, at all, in committing a betrayal?

I am so sad to say that the answer is a big no.

This might surprise you. But, in the years of facing infidelity, many people who have committed the betrayal claim that they usually have no intention to have an affair at all. On the other hand, for those people who want to betray their spouses, have a very low tendency of having an affair with the opposite sex.

This is the most dangerous aspect in any marriage. As it turns out, the person who least suspects it, might just jump into infidelity. And this is typically for the same reasons. Lacking of mutual love, understanding, care, concern are all common reasons. For the spouse who has the affair, it is a complete surprise, “I had always regarded the people who had the affair to be selfish, foolish fools with no discipline. I didn’t even imagine that this could possibly happen to me.”

Infidelity happens in most marriage. Yes, you aren’t reading this wrongly. Most marriages.
Since I am telling you now that it is common to have an affair in most marriage, we can safely assume that all fairytales with good “and they lived happily ever after” endings are impossible.

Ok, firstly, we have to understand the person who is in the capacity of betraying the other party.

For this person, everyone would think that he/she is a moral weakling, a bastard, or whatsoever. Although, I would think that the first step for a recovery of a broken marriage is to see the adulterer’s perspective.

You see, many people have affairs due to a fabricated priority to be with someone whom he/she loves, even if the whole world disapproves of the adultery. People who are adulterers have a new appreciation for people who have affairs.

Most unfaithful spouses see affairs as an enlightenment, which is a process of showing that they do not know what they are really missing until the affair reveals it to them. There are many sayings of, “You will only know how to treasure someone after you lost them” whether in a divorce or when the spouse dies.

I need to let you see that, affairs happen because they need to happen! Affairs happen at the correct situations, the correct locations, the correct circumstances and the correct chronological sequences!

Love is blind. When adulterers seek love elsewhere other than their spouse, they simply forget that they have a marriage vow to follow and keep. They forget that they have the responsibility of being a responsible parent. They forget that they are just seeking a friendship with a person of the opposite sex. (There might be situations which people commit adultery with a person of the same sex – Bisexuals – but I will leave this till for another time.)

For Women Who Commit Adultery

For the women who commit adultery, it is not because the man is not bring enough dough from work. In fact, I knew many women who committed adultery even though their husbands are millionaires. Women need to seek a stronger security in a man if they find that the passion was gone.

For Men Who Commit Adultery

For men who commit adultery, it is usually the case of which they cannot resist the temptation to have more sex- with more women. There are some exceptions though. Like when a wife who is too overbearing in the marriage can lead a man to desire a woman who is obedient and complaint towards his needs – especially sexual needs.

How Do Affairs Start?

What did I do to deserve this?

It all begins when a person mentally visualizes his/her spouse in bed with another man/woman. This vision is very destructive to a marriage and will be indelibly etched in the victim’s mind. For people who are trying to make their marriage work, despite the betrayal, they are unable to go through this mental barrier.

Emotional Needs

Many men and women tend to mistaken what they would define as emotional needs. Emotional needs are cravings to be satisfied. I am not referring to sexual needs being emotional needs. But, I am talking about needs that literally mean anything – from celebrations and shopping to expensive dinners and watching EPL football matches on television!

It can be quite difficult to ascertain what emotional needs are especially critical to prevent infidelity. This is due to a fact that everyone’s emotional needs are vastly different. Therefore, there is a need to rethink what makes the both of you happy at the correct. What you need to target are those significant emotional needs that make huge impacts in your lives.

When I give dating advice to any couple, the most important thing is to identify the significant emotional needs of a couple. Life isn’t a bed of roses. This is confirmed when I make a list of what are 3 of the most significant emotional needs to a man and 3 of the most significant emotional needs to a woman. They are totally different! The 3 most significant emotional needs of the man looks to be the least significant to women and the 3 most significant emotional needs of the woman sounds the least significant to the man!

YOU NEED TO FUFILL THESE SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONAL NEEDS TO ENJOY A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE!

When our most important needs go unmet, we tend to feel empty and depressed, which induces a party to seek another person to fill the void. That’s when adultery kicks in.

Affairs satisfy unmet emotional needs. For example, a guy sleeps with another woman for one night as his wife is on a temporary business trip. Loneliness is his emotional need and he just satisfied it by sleeping with another woman. Now, I am not asking you to point the finger at the betrayed spouse who is working hard all the time. I am just making an acknowledgement that the adulterer is being ignored, hence the affair.

Most of the time, the person who is betrayed has no idea how important he/she is to the adulterer. In fact, the most important person to the adulterer is the victim of infidelity!

I believe, in my years of giving dating advice that love is the most powerful emotion in the world. And love usually is the main reason why marriages lie in divorce. The person committing the betrayal might think, “I am no longer in love with my husband, I am in love with my new-found boyfriend.”

As time goes by, the person committing the adultery will find herself to commit a grave mistake that is probably irreversible. Our state laws and the victim of infidelity (would have given up on this marriage) will not allow for more changes which they might consider as devastating to the healing process of the marital hurt.

Otherwise, when the position of the marriage is still viewed positively by the person who committed the adultery will be willing to give up the relationship with another person in order to salvage the marriage. Being in love, it is impossible to force yourself to forgive another person in a day. That’s why I am going to reiterate here that love is the most powerful weapon in destroying and salvaging a relationship. Love makes the conclusion of an affair difficult, but not impossible.

Any man or woman can throw away his/her marriage after he/she has just experienced an affair. So, if you are a person who is experiencing such marital difficulties, please be aware that the perplexed situation can be quite hard to control.

There comes a time in your adult life when wedding invites come in a flurry almost in an epidemic-like fashion. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with your relationship. In fact, things are going swell for the both of you. It’s just that top 10 months is just too soon for you to pop that question. However, your girlfriend might be getting antsy as she attends one wedding dinner after another. She’s not pressing to get married but yet she can’t help but feel some level of jealousy about others’ marital bliss, talk of honeymoons and huge diamond engagement rings. Inevitably, this creeps into your relationship and, at times, you find her quizzing you about “our future” and getting glum over your “wait and see” approach.

Stay calm. What she’s feeling is totally normal. But flee if she starts planning for your wedding without even discussing it. Seriously, if you care about your partner and do see yourself getting married to her (just not now!), be upfront with her. The truth always helps. It might be a bitter reality pill for her to swallow, but at least she’ll understand your intentions and appreciate your honesty.

The worst thing you could do is to pop the question just so she’ll stop feeling so jealous about her girlfriends, tell her that you’d like to get married to her for all the right reasons and would rather not succumb to peer pressure

Guy time is guy time. It’s sacred. It’s when you need to be in that zone with your buds to guzzle beer, watch sports and basically do guy things. It’s a time to recharge. Being in a relationship is great-but relationship activities (watching movies, having a quiet dinner, walking in the park, grocery shopping and doing the laundry together) can get any guy edgy if he overdoses. So you need your guy time, where you can be your guy self. So, naturally, it gets bothersome when your partner starts giving you a hard time whenever you head out for your weekly guys’ night out.

She says: “You’re hanging out with the guys all the time. We hardly spend any time together any more.” Sounds familiar? Tell her you need this time to go out as an escape (even if sometimes that might be the case.) If she still gets jealous, perhaps you could try building up her confidence. Be sure to take every opportunity to tell your partner how much you love her and why you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

Give lots of compliments and talk about the wonderful future you’re looking forward to spending with her. If all else fails, make her see how hanging out with the guys has the same therapeutic effect as her weekly shopping sprees.

It may sound a tad ridiculous, but sometimes the other woman could be his mom. No,not in some Oedipal way. Sometimes the girlfriend gets jealous because his mom has the final say in everything in the guy’s life: What job he should take on, when to get married, who to invite to the wedding, the friends he should hang out with, right down to the food he should eat. Jealousy may arise in the only if the guy has a “Yes,mom” attitude in everything he does. So, it’s really all a balancing act when it comes to pleasing two important women in your life.

If your mom is very involved in your relationship, then perhaps your partner has a right to get jealous, So assess the situation and act fairly, However, if your girlfriend get weirdly jealous over the slightest thing –like buying your mom a diamond necklace for her birthday- then that’s when you know the green-eyed monster is getting unreasonable. Showing care and concern for your mom is totally okay: If your girlfriend complains that you’re spending too much time with your mom, and cites that special monthly lunch, then its time to hit the road. Make sure that the both of you feel comfortable with your agreements about spending time with other people. Keep in mind that jealousy breaks down trust. If your girlfriend’s jealousy is baseless, hold your ground. In situations such as these, tell her to grow up. But if she is right about your mom being overly involved…dude, you’re the one who has the do the growing up.

She’s the girl pal you’ve been hanging out with since Junior college. She seen you through your lowest points –awful break-ups, getting fired and death in the family – and now you’re in an upturn with career and relationship. Why should she disappear just because your current girlfriend is feeling a little insecure and jealous about the close bond that you and your girl pal share? It’s always been platonic between the both of you- almost a brother-and-sister relationship- so your partner has nothing to worry about. Now, the hard part is to convince your girlfriend that nothing vaguely romantic is happening, or will happen, between you and your pal.

Try an argument: “If there’s something really romantic in there, something would have happened by now.” Assure your girlfriend that the girl pal is really like one of the guys. Also, check yourself: Have you been giving your partner some grounds for her jealousy? For example, do you always drop everything that you’re doing with your partner whenever the girl pal calls up to go for a beer, talk about her boy problems or shoot some hoops? Take heed of Newton’s law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. “If you know that certain behavior trigger your partner’s jealousy,change them if you can- if only until the problems has been overcome,” advises Hall. “Be sure to stick to any agreements you’ve made, too, but avoid making promises you’ll find difficult to keep, such as always being contactable.”

When you first began dating your current squeeze, she seemed the coolest and most open-minded chick you’d ever met. There were no house rules in the relationship and hanging out occasionally with your Ex was totally kosher. “You’re friends after all,” you recall her saying: “How can I stop you from hanging out with a friend? I hate people who are controlling in a relationship.” But fast-forward to the present – say, eight months on – and things have changed. Unspoken rules have surfaced without your realizing it. That green light is no longer a sign to “Go ahead”, but an ugly green hue in her angry eyes.

How do you win? This is a delicate situation. Look at it this way: “If you did not care in the slightest for someone, you could never be jealous, no mater what attentions that person gave to someone else. So instead of getting mad and telling your partner she’s off her rocker, try the path of empathy. Unless she’s some psycho girlfriend from hell(10 pm curfews, alcohol consumption quotas or no buddy nights out allowed), you can safely assume that she’s coming from a good place. So stay calm when she acts up after you go out lunch with your ex. Stick to this rule: only one person in a relationship can freak out in any given time. If both of you do so simultaneously, you might just be headed for splitsville. If you’re just starting out together, invite your partner along with your ex. Introduce the both of them and give them a chance to be comfortable. This may appear like a dicey act to pull off. But, hey, if you’re really just friends with your ex, why should you be concerned.

Admit it, guys:

Sometimes, when your partner flares up in jealousy, you sort of like the attention. It’s a quick boost to the ego, really. However, if the J-monster rears its head constantly, it can become a burden to you and the relationship.

Suppose, while making small talk with the waitress, you crack a joke and gets laughs all round. You think that everything is cool (read: You are). But once the waitress leaves the booth, the laughter dissipates into icy silence. That’s when you know that the cold treatment has begun. Your girlfriend specifies your crime. Flirting with the waitress (it doesn’t help that the waitress is pretty hot). You’re lost and ask yourself: “Wait a minute, did I do something wrong?”

Dude, the answer has a color: Green.

Now, don’t fret just yet. Most relationship experts will agree that a degree of jealousy in a relationship is actually a healthy thing. As quoted in an online BBC article: “In relationships where feelings of jealousy are mild and occasional, it reminds the couple not to take each other for granted. It can encourage couples to appreciate each other and make a conscious effort to ensure the other person feels valued”. Here, jealousy comes out a positive. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. In small manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. But what about unexpected outbursts of jealousy that you find ridiculous?

I will be writing more about the different jealousy issues in my next few posts, so, do remember to
come back.

Divorce is a bitter way to measure marital death. And the ways to prevent divorce can be pretty tedious.

When men and women deal with divorce, they usually go through a lot of embarrassment, anger and disappointment. If you had read some of my other articles, the reasons of divorce varies so it will be hard to give a general gauge here.

However, the ways to prevent divorce does not constitute a relationship-mending miracle. You still need time to iron things out with your spouse.

For Guys

When men consider their marriage is on the rocks, they will do anything to get their wives back. Here are some golden rules to follow before you being your pursuit:

First Rule: Don’t ever treat your wife like she is some sort of princess. She isn’t a moron. She will know it just some kind of desperate attempt to bring her back to your side. My guess? She will strongly refuse.

Second Rule: It might be because you might appear too “controlling” during your marriage. Therefore, if she wants to go out will her friends, let her be. I understand that it is difficult to let her go off at this time as she might be seeking another companion. But, if you don’t want to let her go off, things might just make a turn for the worse.

Third Rule: Communicate effectively. Bring your wife to a candlelit dinner and offer to make up for broken promises. Try to pinpoint as many problems as you can during the dinner and allow her to tell you as many troubles as possible. There is no point arguing, even if you feel that she is incorrect. It is worth taking some time to consider whose fault is it, before you make another wrong comment.

Fourth Rule: Even though you might think that you have handled the situation fairly well, it is not a good idea to prompt her to have sexual intercourse. For a woman, she might be confused about what she wants in this marriage and the last thing on her mind would most probably be having sex with you!

Fifth Rule: Women are complex creatures. So, you have to careful to avoid topics which are already raw to your marriage. It may be because she spends less time with her friends or she is unable to keep a dog due to your allergy towards animals. You have to be patient in order to find out the roots of the problems

For Women

If you think your marriage is breaking down and your situation is really rare, please stop deluding yourself. Almost one out of every eight couples has marital problems between themselves. If you are one of these unfortunate couple, please don’t be anxious. You need to be calm in order to win your husband back by your side.

First rule: Always be patient in your attempts to get back your husband. If you show that you are rushing into desperate attempts to win him back, it might just be more obvious to him that you need him and he doesn’t need you. What you need to show is that he needs you more than you need him!

Second Rule: Show your husband that you still care very much about him- subtly! Never ever say that “I still love you!” directly! It will just seem that you are being thrown into the raging seas!

Call him frequently and ask him how he is doing at work. But, do make sure not to make it a repetitive process but rather an occasional activity. Don’t cross the line by encouraging him to think you need to speak to him everyday.

Third Rule: Make him gifts that will allow him to reminisce about the happy times you once shared with him

Fourth Rule: Don’t argue with your man. Allow him to say whatever he wants. Even if you do disagree with him, speak to him in your politest tone possible. Don’t aggravate all the negative circumstances.

Fifth Rule: Try to look sexy at every moment. If you gained some weight, it is time for you to shed some fat. Doing some exercises not only helps you look good in those sexy lingerie, it will entice your husband to remember those hot nights you shared together.